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filthycalum:

mashocake:

5sostrum:

parudise:

I JUST SAW THIS ON TWITTER AND IM DYING OF LAUGHTER I CANT

'DO YOU OWN LESBIAN PORN?'

HAHAHAHHAHA THIS MADE MY DAY

“VAGINAL EXCRETER”

September 01, 2014
49 minutes ago via: zackisontumblr / source: parudise

cokeflow:

asshairs:

PEOPLE STILL LISTEN TO OWL CITY HAAAAAAAHA

someone obviously doesn’t get 1,000 hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs lmao

September 01, 2014
51 minutes ago via: zackisontumblr / source: prixcum
blueklectic:

Who the hell thought of this?

blueklectic:

Who the hell thought of this?

August 31, 2014
14 hours ago via: lesbianed / source: wzrdkelley
August 31, 2014
21 hours ago via: zackisontumblr / source: fivegum

azalea-in-time:

When you go to a haunted house, it may seem like you’re being funny by trying to scare the actors or jump out at them when you go through a second time, but guess what? ITS NOT FUNNY.

You pay us to scare you. It is your choice to go, so don’t fucking go through if you’re going to ignore the rules and get too close to the actors as a ‘joke’.

These bruises happened because over the course of 4 hours, several people ignored the instructions that CLEARLY stated that they were to wait in the front room until told otherwise. Rather than listen, they ran into the next room and slammed into me- effectively throwing me into the wall. This didn’t only happen once. It happened ten times at LEAST.

Then we had this asshole who thought that once I ‘died’ for the haunt, he could pretend to kick me to see if I’d moved. I, being used to people abusing me- jumped back and slammed my head into the concrete wall.

YOU ARE NOT FUNNY BY BEING RUDE AT A HAUNTED HOUSE. WE ARE PAID ACTORS THAT YOU CHOOSE TO COME AND SEE PERFORM. YOU PAY US TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, SO DONT HIT US WHEN WE DO

I feel that this is relevant considering it is October and more Haunted Houses are opening up. I know it seems funny to scare the ‘monsters’ but all you do is hurt real people. So stop.

August 31, 2014
1 day ago via: blogger-otter / source: azalea-in-time
"

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is eight years old, she’s got pink cheeks that her grandmother calls chubby. She wants a second cookie but her aunt says “you’ll get huge if you keep eating.” She wants a dress and the woman in the changing room says “she’ll probably need a large in that.” She wants to have dessert and her waiter says “After all that dinner you just had? You must be really hungry!” and her parents laugh.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is eleven and she is picked second-to-last in gym class. She watches a cartoon and sees that everyone who is annoying is drawn with a big wide body, all sweaty and panting. At night she dreams she is swelling like the ocean over seabeds. When she wakes up, she skips school.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is thirteen and her friends are stick-thin ballerinas with valleys between their hipbones. She is instead developing the wide curves of her mother. She says she is thick but her friends argue that she’s “muscular” and for some reason this hurts worse than just admitting that she jiggles when she walks and she’ll never be a dancer. Eating seconds of anything feels like she’s breaking some unspoken rule. The word “indulgent” starts to go along with “food.”

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is fourteen and she has stopped drinking soda and juice because they bloat you. She always takes the stairs. She fidgets when she has to sit still. Whenever she goes out for ice cream, she leaves half at the bottom - but someone else always leaves more and she feels like she’s falling. She pretends to like salad more than she does. She feels eyes burrowing through her body while she eats lunch. Kate Moss tells her nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, but she just feels like she is wilting.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is fifteen the first time her father says “you’re getting gaunt.” She rolls her eyes. She eats one meal a day but thinks she stays the same size. Every time she picks up a brownie she thinks of the people she sees on t.v. and every time she has cake, she thinks of the one million magazine articles on restricting calories. She used to have no idea a flat stomach was supposed to be beautiful until she saw advice on how to achieve it. She cuts back on everything. She controls. They tell her she’s getting too thin but she doesn’t believe it.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is sixteen and tearing herself into shreds in order for a thigh gap big enough to hush the screams in her head. She doesn’t “indulge,” ever. She can’t go out with friends, they expect her to eat. She damns her sweet tooth directly to hell. It’s coffee for breakfast and tea for lunch and if there’s dance that evening, two cups of water and then maybe an apple. She lies all the time until she thinks the words will rot her teeth. She dreams about food when she sleeps. Her aunt begs her to eat anything, even just a small cookie. They say, “One bite won’t make you fat, will it, darling?”

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is seventeen and too sick to go to prom because she can’t stand up for very long. She thinks she wouldn’t look good in a dress anyway. Her nails are blue and not because they are painted. Her hair is too thin to do anything with. She’s tired all the time and always distracted. She once absently mentions the caloric value of grapes to the boy she is with and he looks at her like she’s gone insane and in that moment she realizes most people don’t have numbers constantly scrolling in their heads. She swallows hard and tries to figure out where it all went wrong, why more than a granola bar for a meal makes her feel sick, why she tastes disease and courts with death. She misses sleep. She misses being able to dream. She misses being herself instead of just being empty.

A FAT LITTLE GIRL
is twenty and writes poetry and is a healthy weight and still fights down the voices every single day. She puts food in her mouth and sometimes cries about it but more and more often feels good, feels balanced. Her cheeks are pink and they are chubby and soft and no longer growing slight fur. Her hair is long and it is beautiful. She still picks herself apart in the mirror, but she’s starting to get better about it. She wears the dress she likes even if it only fits her in a large and she doesn’t feel like a failure for it. She is falling in love with the fat on her hips.

She is eating out with friends and not worrying about finding the lowest calorie item on the menu when she hears a mother tell her four year old daughter “You can’t have ice cream, we just had dinner.
You don’t want to end up as a fat little girl.”

"
-

Why do we constantly do this to our children? /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)

This is heartbreaking

(via emsfitjourney)

August 31, 2014
1 day ago via: emmibeach / source: inkskinned
August 31, 2014
1 day ago via: conventionaloven / source: beyoffce

inkmurder:

Skinny

680xsouth:

basically i dont care if you drink smoke or do drugs as long as you can hold a conversation about something besides the fact that you drink smoke or do drugs

August 30, 2014
1 day ago via: emmibeach / source: lilveganmami

blackgirlwhiteboylove:

Our African Wedding

My wife and I just had our African wedding celebration with her side of the family. It was off the charts.

<3

August 30, 2014
1 day ago via: emmibeach / source: rocknrollercoaster

illkim:

"You smoke?"

"Only recreationally"

image

August 30, 2014
1 day ago via: hotguysandpizza / source: illkim

clestroying:

going to school like

image

August 30, 2014
1 day ago via: hotguysandpizza / source: clestroying
swiggityswandersitsdylansaunders:

justyouraveragehaggis:

beckyhop:

zftw:

we need to talk about that house loan

It’s gonna cost you a leg. Specifically, that guy’s prosthetic leg.
I need it.

I also need that guy’s eye.


No no he doesn’t need his eye!

swiggityswandersitsdylansaunders:

justyouraveragehaggis:

beckyhop:

zftw:

we need to talk about that house loan

It’s gonna cost you a leg. Specifically, that guy’s prosthetic leg.

I need it.

I also need that guy’s eye.

No no he doesn’t need his eye!

August 30, 2014
1 day ago via: poprocksway / source: awwww-cute
strigays:

strigays:

i apparently go to bird school which is for birds

gODDAMNIT this post always getS TINY FUCKING BURSTS OF notes when will the carnage stop

strigays:

strigays:

i apparently go to bird school
which is for birds

gODDAMNIT this post always getS TINY FUCKING BURSTS OF notes when will the carnage stop

August 30, 2014
1 day ago via: gaylazypianist / source: purrinces
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